10 Things I Want To Say To A Thick Woman (After Jennifer Falu)

I have this theory
i believe that God made the world in 8 days
think he rested on the 7th day because
he knew what he’d be making on the 8th
so on the 8th day
God created thickness and saw that it was good
and it has been all good eversince

Sometimes you say
you don’t like the way you’re built
I say that God is a better architect than you give him
credit for being and that
a few more bricks in your structure makes your
body no less of a temple, you make men want to congregate
organize themselves into choirs for the sole purpose of singing
your praises, your hips shaped like hallelujahs, each man hoping
his hands might just remind you of a sunday morning
the sound of your thighs rubbing together
is still the most joyful noise I have ever heard
your body is a religion with too many followers to count
just to watch you move is an act of conversion
and I know that this is spiritual
because you are responsible for every
Oh My God! and
Lawd Have Mercy!
I have ever uttered

You stay heavy on my mind
Girl you got Asthma calling you
you got the kind of body that stops traffic
and starts arguments between a woman and their boyfriend
because you made his eyes wander,
made his mind wonder
what it would be like
to be in the thick of it all
just tell her that you can’t help it
and neither can he,
the way you make heads turn
you are and will always be whiplash waiting to happen
You be like
that circa 1989 Mickey D’s milkshake can’t- drink- it- with- a- straw
triple thickness that
makes me do a double take
every single time, the same milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard
and all the men to their knees

Never let anyone tell you that you
are pretty for a big girl, that is a pimpslap of a compliment
and you are noone’s attention whore
stop speaking of yourself in minuses
they call your size
for a reason, remember those words the next time
you go out to dinner with a man
and only order the salad

If the average dress size is a 12
and you are a 16 or a 20 or a 22
wouldn’t that make you an above average woman?
and if so,
what’s wrong with that? What man in his right mind
wants to be with a C+ of a woman? I want to look back on my
love life like a proud student staring at his report card:
All A’s & B’s

I have always believed that
the more a woman has to hold onto
the more impossible it becomes to let her go
that just because others may label her curves “dangerous”
it doesn’t make her unsafe
Have you seen your landscape lately?
all majestic mountains
plush valleys
and rolling hills,as if you were the nature
I have always needed to get back to

How long are you going to keep dress sizing your own adjective?
believing that “fat” and “unattractive” are the only ones that fit you

try another one on

how about “gorgeous”?
how about “sexy”?
how about “voluptuous”?
how about “luscious”?
how about “lovely”?

Confidence comes in your size, too
make it a permanent part of your wardrobe
and always be sure to coordinate it with your stride
because beauty isn’t only in the eye of the beholder
it’s also in the heart of the believer
and doubt only clashes with your smile.

I’m not advocating for you to be unhealthyy and overweight
just unafraid and overjoyed

But what do I know ?
I’m just a chubby chaser who refuses to be closeted cuz
closets are for skeletons
and bones
don’t do a thing for me
I like my women the same way I like my pancakes
and stacked so
all that need be said is
praise God and
pass the syrup!

Stop asking me if those jeans
make your butt look big
your butt makes your butt look big
and I love every inch of it,
It’s the kind of full moon that drives a man crazy and
there’s is nothing like the luscious presence of it’s gravity
besides the only reason God gave you all that back
is so that you’d never feel the need
to front.

And on the 8th day,
God created thickness and saw that it was good
and it has been all good

By: Jamaal St. John